


Robot Wants Corn

by NullBubby



Category: Robot Wants (Video Games)
Genre: Backstory, Canon Continuation, Corn - Freeform, i wrote this in 1 hour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24354796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NullBubby/pseuds/NullBubby
Summary: Robot completely poops up his journey and gets stuck on a corn planet.





	Robot Wants Corn

_ It is the year 20XY and a few months or so. _

_ Now, having finally set the galaxy at rest with some hard-earned Justice, Robot can truly relax in peace, knowing he won’t be needed in the immediate vicinity any time soon. With Puppy, an empty fish tank, and a whole load of ice cream by his side, it’s perhaps time to finally take a cryostasis-nap to refresh his circuit boards. _

_ With rather reluctance, his pet companion complied, setting his eyes closed for the last time in probably a long time. A few final calculations and inputs on his ship later, and Robot followed in suit. No time like the present to take a nap, even for a literal hoarding machine. _

_ All was proceeding steadily for a good while. The ship drifting along through the vastness of space, passing by a few familiar locations along the way. If he’d been “awake” for the ride, the Happy Ice Cream Planet could be spotted with relative ease. What was also apparent was the sheer destruction caused from the previous wars during his stays there, though it was lucky no one lived there in the first place. All that remained were countless Destructos, ravaging nothing but the sooted ground with endless bombs and plasma. _

_ And then... a bit of tragedy struck. All of a sudden, one was knocked out of his rest by a forceful shake, rupturing the power supply for his bed. When he came to, everything was scattered across the ground—water from the fish bowl, the fridge of limitless ice cream... and not much else, really. Everything else was secured in some way to the walls or floor of the ship, though there wasn’t much in the first place. _

_ Now with a certain predicament to overcome, and without a dog to assist, Robot makes his way outside onto the mysterious planet’s surface, completely unmarked in all his databases. A way off the planet, most certainly... _

_ Robot Wants Escape _

_ Oh, and Puppy can’t help because the crash conveniently managed to knock only Robot awake. Convenience’s sake, of course. _

* * *

Well... that was quite the predicament. It wasn’t like it was uncommon to find himself in one... but this one was different. Much different. Instead of robots and natives roaming around, tacitly guiding him in the direction for his longing, there instead was nothing. Absolutely nothing...

Except for endless rows of corn. Corn there, corn here, corn everywhere. Beneath his spaceship, above it, somehow, stretching out across the entire planet’s surface. It was low enough to be avoided by sensors, luckily, so the most it could really do was get a grain or leaf jammed in his wheel. Not bad, of course. Not bad at all.

But then there was still the actual journey of finding whatever he was supposed to be doing at the moment. For one, not a single powerup or upgrade could be seen in sight. If that wasn’t enough, the corn made it impossible to scan the ground for any sort of useful material or utility to assist in restoring the ship. Except, of course, if there happened to be a handy upgrade lying around, but that almost certainly required another one prior, and then began an endless paradox within his circuitry.

Alright, then. If there really isn’t anything in sight, then maybe best to get searching around, already. Time wasn’t anything more than a concept used to measure how long it took to complete a certain task, and for the time being, it really wouldn’t be of any effect. If all went well, then perhaps he’d be out of there within half an hour, or so.

It soon became apparent that the jamming problem was indeed in effect, almost immediately revealing itself after rolling forward a short distance. Luckily, it didn’t manage to be of much issue, though it could be of hindrance upon obtaining a new skill in this fresh world. Like, say, those melee-oriented skills back on the lava planet. A single Rocket Punch forward, and anything attached to himself would be completely incinerated within mere moments. Sure, it might not be of much issue, but the effect on the environment might become a problem. Past experiences had shown that even the slightest little detail could be of interest later on, such as going off the main path to find an extra bomb upgrade, for say.

With main power routed to intelligence, sensory was just about offline, which was a grave mistake. Not only because of what he was supposed to be doing at the moment, but also because he plainly wasn’t looking where he was going. Just up ahead was some sort of pumpkin-headed scarecrow—a sinister engraving marked in its eyes. A straw hat was placed atop its spherical head, which happened to be attached to what was pretty much a stick, somehow standing it upright without tipping. It wasn’t much taller than his own chassis, nowhere near tall enough to be of any sort of obstruction, though what was more important was the fact that something else prevailed in this environment besides an endless supply of the yellow grain.

But a scarecrow? What could be done with it? Its arms seemed to be of slight reference to his own vices—being of forks attached to sticks, rotating and extending upon a will it didn’t possess. Of course, there wasn’t any sort of way for it to grab something, or at very least easily, though it wasn’t like it mattered, considering what it was.

...spare parts, perhaps? Or, actually, its body could be extracted for any sort of power contained within it. Despite what it may sound like to an outsider, the situation was more than likely to occur, even with the most mundane of objects or creatures. It may be a problem carrying it back, though.

Before crushing himself under its possible weight, it would probably be best to test how difficult it would be to lift it in the first place. Going ahead and doing so was an absolute no-go, so another method would be required. No gadgets or upgrades otherwise were stored within him at the moment, so... physical testing it was.

Alright... a quick shove should do the trick. Difficult to move, or otherwise sturdy, and he’d need to return with something to carry it. Otherwise, above his blocky head it was. The claws on his sides winded back a short distance, remaining at rest just above the rest of his body in preparation for the attack. Then, it was smashed forward, colliding directly with the scarecrow’s pumpkin head. Instead of toppling over, or even wobbling a short amount, though, it instead emitted a loud clang upon contact.

“Do not touch me with your corn-despising arms!” it demanded in a robotic voice. In the next moment, it was looking down upon him, staring with its engraved face.

Alright, an enemy. No weapons, though? Well, too bad. For him, of course. Just return with something to take it out, then claim whatever prize it holds. Probably best to check the ship in case there were any upgrades stored within the database, hopefully having survived the crash.

Robot wheeled back, not turning around until reaching a suitable distance between the two of them. Quite an awkward place for something like  _ that _ to be placed in. He’d seen much, much more obscure, though. Just another one of the galaxies most wanted, dangerous, or strange creatures. Most likely that last one, in this case.

Not even a short moment moving along, and the scarecrow appeared within his scanner's vision, hopping along at his side, scrambling to get his attention with little success. He was a robot, after all, he didn’t change his focus unless he forced himself to.

“Praise our lord and savior corn,” it said, waving its fork-like arms in the air. “All who oppose it must be exterminated.”

Corn...?

“Corn!” It hopped up and down awkwardly as it continued forward. “Corn!”

The ship wasn’t very far away, luckily. If the scarecrow decided to join him inside, then that was alright. Not much it’d be able to do inside, anyway, so what’s the harm of letting it follow? Oh, maybe just some grains of corn along the ground, but that would be about it. And he’d also have to remove the corn over himself, too. Else it would make an eternal mess on the ground, only to possibly be cleaned by the goodness of Puppy’s mouth... perhaps.

“Inject corn in me.”

Up the ramp, and into the spaceship, his audience following inside. Welp, there was an issue. Maybe there would be an upgrade he could use to get rid of it all, though it’d be a new one, for sure. Lazorz... endless, Deadly Lazorz... maybe not the best way of cleaning up after his own mess...

But hey, best not to worry about that now. Look on the bright side, he had a new creature to collect data, and perhaps upgrades on. Otherwise, it’d be a long, long while before the ship would be moving again.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 100 day anniversary to my account, I guess.
> 
> I just felt like making this because the Robot Wants series is one of my favorites, and I felt like "celebrating" a little by doing this. Yes, of course this a way to celebrate.


End file.
